||MISERY (1990)||   Rated R

Directed By: Rob Reiner (Stand By Me 1986,The Princess Bride 1987, When Harry Met Sally 1989, A Few Good Men 1992)

Starring: James Caan (The Godfather 1972, Elf 2003), Kathy Bates (Fried Green Tomatoes 1991, Titanic 1997, American Horror Story 2013-2016), Richard Farnsworth (Anne of Green Gables 1985 TV mini-series)

IMDB (Rating: 7.8/10) || (A) Few days after being rescued and sheltered from a car crash caused by a blizzard by a nurse who claims to be his number one fan, a well-known author begins suspecting the mental health of his savior.

Rotten Tomatoes (TomatoMeter: 89% CERTIFIED FRESH) || Based on the Stephen King novel, Misery casts James Caan as romance writer Paul Sheldon. After a car accident, Sheldon is trapped in his vehicle in the middle of a blizzard; on the brink of death, he is rescued by Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), a former nurse who carries the writer to her home to recover. It turns out that Annie is a huge fan of Sheldon’s work, which consists of a series of romance novels about a character named Misery Chastain; Paul, wanting to explore more serious work, has decided to kill Misery in order to write a raw, autobiographical book about life on the streets. Annie, who has lived almost vicariously through the Misery Chastain books for years, is livid over the harsh language of Paul’s book, but becomes almost crazed upon discovering Misery’s fate. To teach the bedridden man a lesson, she forces him to burn the autobiographical manuscript and resurrect Misery; after learning of Annie’s murderous past, he knows that Misery’s return to life will mark the end of his own.

Awards: Kathy Bates won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role (1991) as well as the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Leading Role (1991). Received various other nominations and awards.

||THE QUICK HIT||

Love It, Like It, Gotta Leave It.

Hashtags: #kathybatesno! #omgnooooooo #can’tlook #wetoldyoutofixthatfuckingpenguinstatue #sheknewallalong #NOTTHESHERIFF #NOOOOO #thereisalotofmetanalaysistobehadregardingthecurrentauthorfanrelationshipsrightnow #she’sgonnakillthatpig #holyshitIcan’tbelieveshedidn’tkillthepigandhavethemeatit

Does this movie pass the Bechdel Test? No
Does this movie pass the Mako Mori Test? No (I would argue with Anni as the antagonist this story is all about Paul Sheldon’s dilemma)
Contains ‘Other’ Pro-Feminist Leanings? Yes, while Annie Wilkes is hardly a feminist hero the sheriff’s wife provides a surprising feminist characterization that provides a bit of humor in between the dark parts of this film.

Did it age well (any film pre-2001)? Pretty well, it’s obviously dated because of no cell phones and such but the lack of blood and gore and utilization of the outdoor shots keep this film fairly polished looking.

||THE REVIEW (SPOILER FULL, warning disturbing gifs ahead)||

Oh my god after the last two movies I can finally gush because I totally loved this movie and I love Stephen King and as someone who has read a lot of Stephen King and seen a lot of the adaptions of his work I was even more pleasantly surprised that it was a good adaption and I definitely agree that this is probably the best adaptation of his work I’ve ever seen. Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is going to kill off his character Misery Chastain after thirteen books because he feels the need to branch out into new things, but while leaving his usual ‘end of book writing spot’ his car goes off the road in a blizzard giving him the chance to meet his number one fan Ms. Annie Wilkes. Annie is a nurse and what at first seems a lucky coincidence turns into a nightmare. I know Kathy Bates is a great actress, but I think her portrayal of Annie is completely riveting.

Hello nightmares.

Obviously something is off from the get go when she is ominously leaning over him, “I’m your number one fan,” but Annie’s less than noble intentions escalate quickly

The moment when shit gets real. Also this is me when I’ve been forced to write fanfiction to deal with shitty author decisions. This could also be the moment I figuratively threw 50 Shades of Grey in the fire.

Alright she didn’t like the new book, but then he went and killed off the favorite character of her favorite book series that she named her beloved pig after and well… shit gets terrifyingly weird. Not only does she hold Paul captive but after she realizes that he has figured out how to get out of his room (you should have put that penguin back the way you found it you fucking horror movie amateur) she decides to make sure he can’t escape, but can write the triumphant comeback of Misery Chastain after Annie forces him to torch the manuscript he had finished for his new book.

I was definitely too high for shit like this. Annie Wilkes scares the piss out of me.

I wish I could say that the gif above was the most horrifying part of the movie and I think it would be except for the portion where I think Kathy Bates earned that Oscar. It’s easy to escalate her disturbing behavior, but I think the point where Annie Wilkes really terrified me was during her moment of clarity.

Everything else about Annie Wilkes is a practiced sort of front or planted in strong felt delusions about herself, but then you realize this is the real her and it’s sad and sympathetic; however, you also know that when she doesn’t let him go here the scene above is somewhat inevitable as is the end where she tries to kill him and then plans to kill herself.

I feel bad for Paul and I think James Caan definitely did the character justice, but there wasn’t too much for him to work with characterization-wise; however, you are so engrossed in his current situation it  isn’t a conspicuous absence of character which is good considering we lose the inside the mind machinations of characters like him when the book is translated into a film. Really though I’m a big sucker for little characters and I think this sheriff stole the show.

I love this old man, but of course he dies because writers are jerks. I’M LOOKING AT YOU STEPHEN KING AND GEORGE R.R. MARTIN, though not in a way that could be misconstrued as a Annie Wilkes-esqe look.

Really though the Sheriff and his wife are a charming addition to the movie that provides some much needed comic relief to shore up the dark elements of this film and he has a certain plucky heart that causes you true sorrow when he dies not to mention you can literally feel your own hope and Paul’s die right at the same second. His wife was super funny, flirty with her husband, and basically it was nice to see a feminist friendly husband and wife duo. Paul is lucky to survive. He eventually tricks Annie into getting close enough (burns Misery’s Return which he eventually stuffs the burning pages of into her mouth) and uses the typewriter to give her some lights out and then kills her in the ensuing struggle. Afterwards he of course writes a brilliant best seller, but remains traumatized by what happened to him.

Overall the film was just great. It was well paced it had some light humor which furthered the dark, nightmare fuel that was Annie Wilkes obsession with Misery Chastain. There is of course the ironic use of the title in talking about ‘loving Misery’.

I love when they say the title of the movie in the movie!

The fact that the film writers chose to take out some of the more gory aspects of this film and it’s still terrifying just goes to show how far the horror genre has fallen in some regards. In the end give me tension and keep the buckets of blood, but I honestly think Misery was fantastic even if I got super high at the beginning was literally overreacting at every little thing. There was a lot of peeking between our hands for this one.

My Blunt Cinema Rating:  8/10 Munchie-licious cupcakes!

On a final note Misery the novel was written by Stephen King as a metaphor with his drug problem and I only mention this because while I made a few author/fan jokes there have been a lot of authors behaving badly recently and there is no take away here regarding author/fan relations. There is literally no corollary that should be made. None, nada, zippo; especially in regards to the way fans interact with authors. Not to say that there aren’t fans who have taken obsession too far in the past in all different mediums, but Annie Wilkes isn’t an image to be evoked in the era of authors who like to pretend that any criticism they receive is in fact some kind of bullying. I look forward to picking up the book, but I don’t imagine that the book will tarnish the movie too much for me. Unlike Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining vs. Stephen King’s The Shining.

This was neither the first nor the last moment I hoped Jack Nicholson actually succeeded in killing his annoying fictional family.

Safe to say we’ll never actually review The Shining because I will literally be rooting for him to kill everyone and LeoinLu will either murder me for being annoying or die laughing.

See you next time!